May 16th, 2013 - 21,467 notes

stylinsmut:

the first smut i ever read was about a girl listening to these people having sex in a bathroom stall and when they were done she snuck in and it was like “she saw semen all over the floor and bent over to pick one up”

she picked up a sperm

just one

(via penissauce)

May 16th, 2013 - 9,649 notes

May 16th, 2013

Happy

May 14th, 2013 - 30,300 notes

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

we went upstate and my dog was being a butt and trying to swipe at fish in the lake and she fell in and when we dried her off she was still shivering so i put a sweater on her

May 13th, 2013 - 35,068 notes

Don’t sit and wait. Get out there, feel life. Touch the sun, and immerse in the sea.

- Rumi (via perfect)

(Source: tymurf, via ihateallofyou666)

May 12th, 2013 - 5,044 notes

dirkar:

‘youre skinny so youre not allowed to have weight insecurities’

(via who-da-best)

May 12th, 2013 - 225,795 notes

all-the-sighs:

psychoticpingouins:

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.

Brilliant

May 12th, 2013 - 142,911 notes

schazam:

Elizabeth Báthory is one of the most prolific serial killers in all of history.
She was born into nobility and was highly educated but also very vain.
One day, infuriated, Elizabeth struck one of her servant girls so hard that some blood dripped from her face onto Elizabeth’s hand and she immediately thought that her skin took on a glowing freshness of her young maid.
Elizabeth believed she had found the secret of eternal youth. After this, women were abducted and hung upside down, while they were still alive and their throats were slit to prepare Elizabeth’s bath.
The Countess of Transylvania and four collaborators were accused of torturing and killing hundreds of girls, with one witness attributing to them over 650 victims, though the number for which they were convicted was 80. Elizabeth herself was neither tried nor convicted.

Can I just time in here and say a few things, since half of what is written here is straight from the wikipedia page, which don’t get me wrong —it’s accurate— but extremely underwhelming.
“Elizabeth” Erzebet Bathory was so much more than some vain bitch who killed over 650 women, she was a vain bitch who could speak and write more than two languages, in a time where a woman writing one was unheard of. She was raised mostly by her very infamous openly bisexual aunt, and was a torturer and a murderer before she was 14 (rumored).
This woman was the person who made the villagers quake in both fear and revelation, that the courts refused to take action against when young girls started dissapearing, when bodies started being found. She OWNED the country, her family was richer then even the Lords presiding over it, she had all the say.
Her and her ‘accomplices” (which by the way, they were extremely trusted, and unlike her, they were executed without mercy when the truth came out), would gather village children who their parents practically threw their way in hopes of a better future, although the children would never live again. She didn’t only hang them, she caged them, used iron maidens, spears, so many different objects. And the whole ‘bathing in blood’ thing, although is technically can be true, that and the whole striking her maid is all exagerrated to add to the story. Her and her husband got off to killing, literally, they liked the screams. If she bathed in blood, it wasn’t to be younger, it was to enjoy their life ending. Not to say she wasn’t vain, but for good reason. She was considered the most beautiful woman in Hungary for all of her days.
And she technically was tried, although as I said before she practically owned the country, they couldn’t actually kill her. But she had killed another young girl of noble blood, and that couldn’t just be set aside. So instead of execution, they sentenced her to house arrest for the rest of her days, unable to punish her for all the women she had killed.
Also, she had three children, and regardless of her murderous ways it was said that she had been a wonderful, loving mother. Strange how the ‘vain blood mistress’ can be more than just, isn’t it?
I could go on and on about this woman, I’ve read and watched basically everything pertaining to her due to reports and essays that I wrote when I was younger, and even though she was a horrifying murderer, she deserves a bit more than ‘blood bitch’.

May 12th, 2013 - 58,299 notes

c4rcinogencrush:

if you take me on a date to a zoo, aquarium, or museum the chances of me having sex with you goes up by about 900%

May 12th, 2013 - 7 notes

cunt-hearyou:

No amount of drugs/alcohol/people can save you from you, because in the end of the day all you have is yourself. I don’t want temporary happiness, I’d rather live my life making my own happiness. Most people don’t understand that it’s better to make your own happiness than to dwell on sadness, especially when its sadness from the past. It’s better to keep discovering yourself in every way possible than to surround yourself with people who weigh you down in every way possible. If you love someone and have to ask them to change their ways to fit your ways, then they’re not the one for you. Have a mind of your own and see where that takes you. Idk why people rely on others to lift them up, if you’re not comfortable with being by yourself then I feel so bad for you. I never understood any of this before but I’m so glad I do now.